there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
