Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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