he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
