I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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