Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
