Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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