the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Randomize
