wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
