You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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