we made out on top of his cat.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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