Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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