I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
