Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
