I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
