Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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