There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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