I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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