Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
