i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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