he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
