Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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