We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
