i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize