I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
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