you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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