So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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