My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
