Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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