I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
