butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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