True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
