I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
