Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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