Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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