'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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