whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
