everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
