Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
