don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
That accounts for only three of the penises
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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