I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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