Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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