Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
