I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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