Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
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