before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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