i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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