I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
