We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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