8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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