Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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