i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Randomize