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All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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