What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize