She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
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I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
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I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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