ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize