I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
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For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
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Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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