best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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