My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
