If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
